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sarahstarah10
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Name: Sarah
Location: Houston, Texas, United States
Birthday: 8/10/1989
Gender: Female
Interests: Hmmm My intrest...i like to run. CC, SOccer and track mostly. and i like music. a lot.
Expertise: My expertise...wtf??? LIke what am i good at....hmm.....i'm good at running i guess...but i'm not all that....i jus like it...i dont know skrew this. ya'll know me. and if u dont. jus ask!
Occupation: Student
Industry: Other
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  ccrnr810
Member Since:
7/7/2004
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| wow..this stuff really died. o well. ill still use mine cause im that damn cool. jk. man. hmm...i have a lot on my mind right now...i dunno. i guess ill just start wherever. i hate insecuriteis. i think in some ways everyone has them. well not in some ways. its pretty evidente that sometimes ppl just feel bad. we cant explain it and we dont know why. we dont dont know why we dont feel good engough. we dont know why everything feels bad and i guess my question is...does everyone feel like this? am i alone on those days? i really dont think so. but maybe im wrong. maybe i am alone. and maybe no one cares....i dotn know. i feel sometiems ilike im loosing grasp with life. i feel down and i dont think i can get back up. but all these thoughts are only temporary for the most part im happy. i like myself. and im confident in who i am. i get a lot of comments about being a nerd and loser and whatever. but for the most part i dont care. damn if im that much a loser then why are these ppl still my friends?? well honetsly are they my friends if they say that to me?? i know i cant trust everyone. and honetly i dont. sometimes i am thinking fuck no im not telln u shit cause i know u talk to much. im not ganna lie. i dont trust a lot of people. because ive seen them talk shit about other ppl and to tel lyou the truth i dont think im that special that you wouldnt do the same to me. i hate not being able to talk about how i feel....but maybe thats everyone. doesnt it suck to cry infront of ppl? i feel ubber lame everytime. im just like damn i have no friends. i think its just cause i dont like to feel sad. and it feels even worse to have someone witness it. its like can i hit u on the head so u can never rember that?? i dont like to fight. thats why i give up fast. i mean i figure there are other ways to fix my problems. and im ok with walking away. im ok with letting ppl they've won. maybe they have...maybe they havent. i really dont care either way. sometime i feel bad. and i dont know why....but in the end i guess i know ill get over it. i always do! =D | | |
| Do you ever wish you could go back in time and fix things? isnt it crazy how things chang SO fast in one instant. its like ur goin down a smooth path and then BAM! you crash. and before you know it your hittin the ground hard....i think they call it a reality check? or a car crash. ha. ok....well here's my story for the week...so me and ruth are swimmin...and eric calls...havent talked to him in FOREVER he asks to hang out. i say maybe tomorrow cause im busy....ok skipping parts and going strait to dairy queen. ok me ruth and michael are talkin about what we are ganna do on the next day. and ruth blurts out when are u hanging out with eric?
You see thats the second in time that i want to go back to. at that point i should have said i dunno. looked over at micahel and explaiend everything....
However. that is not what i did. i acted like an idiot. and didnt say anything. indoing this. i think i lost michaels trust....why o why am i such a fuck up?? liek honestly. i could have handled that situation so many ways that would have worked better......but no. i have to complicate things when they are going perfect....damn it. and now he cant wait to get rid of me. he wants to go to school and just forget about me. that hurts my feelings that he said that even as a joke....i mean i said sry. and i really REALLY really am...wow...im so no happy right now. if i could go back and fix things. i would do it in a heart beat. id go back and then im sure right now things would be wonderful. but i cant. and it sucks.
i want so bad to just tell him i love him so much and that im so so sorry. i know if i did though he'd act like nothing was wrong. and we wouldnt get anywhere...and it fucking sucks that school is here and he doesnt have to try to avoid me cause he just wont have fucking time for me.................well kids sry for another sad one..but...man i cant help it. this is sOOO my venting page. cause bearly anyone reads it. anyways. i guess ill go........later.... | | |
| ok i have come to the sudden realization that i have no life...wow im writing in my xanga..shocked?? I am..its kinda scary being back. its just i ve had so many blogs on myspace i was like geeze whats my deal? so i figured why not come back to this place. and write everday!!! muahahaha! ok to much there. i know. but yea...ok so the million dollar question for the day is:
Q: what would i do in my life without michael?
A: this here....absolutley nothing....im a total loser. i dont think it quite hit me until these last two days. i have yet receive one phone call from my "boyfriend" excuse me i dont mean to be one of those phyco crazy girlfriends. but hi im still alive is something i at least expected...am i wrong here? maybe i am. who cares. teh point is im letting it drive me nuts. like you have no idea. ive never once in my life been so......stupid? yes... stupid will work. like really....only LOSERS sit around waiting for the damn phone to ring. and only LOSERS resort to writing their feelings onto stupid online journals in attempts to push thoughts out of their heads that are really not going anywhere but strait on to paper....like seriuosly...i wasnt kiddng when i said i had no life.
Ok so here is my point. i sarah diane garza REFUSE to be a loser......i will never again after this day be like this. because its pointless and stupid. im doint nothing but being quite pethetic. Im being that girl. u know the one everyone makes fun for being a loser about guys. the girl everyone feels sorry for....and i REFUSE to be that girl. i have this theory. I think if you dont show your feelings...or dont have feelings then you cant get hurt. Right? ok well..the only thing is how can you ever really have a relationship if you dont show feelings or even feel them....thats a pretty big fault in my theory but right now im just ranting on about nothing in particular. im just tryin to get my mind of things......Ok kids. im sry you had to see this side of me...i disappoint myself.....The End. | | |
| wow....havnet wrote in FOREVER!! thats bc ive been to busy with myspace...so a msg to all my readers...aka no one...lol. go to myspace and check mine out. the name is sarah or u can just find mine by ccrnr810@aol.com. if u dont have one of these u should. its great. hah i love it. well i dunno if ill write in here anymore..maybe some day. but u can come and say hi on myspace. later kids. *muah | | |
| ok yea i am ultra pissed!!!!!!!!! i hate how he's acting. its killin me. why does he have to be so.......fustrating! i cant take this crap to much longer...i hate it. ok well im off to sleep. nite. | | |
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